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An Open Letter to WoW Insider's "Guildwatch".
10/28/2008 12:37 by Rhett.

Dear WoW Insider,

I would just like to take the opportunity to thank you for briefly mentioning myself and the guild in your most recent "Guildwatch" column, which can be found here: http://www.wowinsider.com/2008/10/22/guildwatch-slow-going/

About four blurbs down in your column, it was pointed out to me that you wrote the following, and I quote, "We've been occasionally highlight good guild websites, and while this site isn't all that much in terms of design, we're told that Rhett is Bring Out Your Dead on Runetotem has been keeping up guild morale with his newsposts. We have to admit, they are kind of funny, especially the "Rock Star" parody. And a good way to keep the guild sticking together in the transition to Wrath." No, those grievous grammatical errors and typos were not made by me, that really is what the column says.

Okay, I admit it. Our website could probably use a makeover. At some point, when we're not busy being so awesome, I will see if we can get any sort of new design layout, in a hopeless effort to please you. You may ask yourself why I would be so willing to go out of my way to please you. It's because while I appreciate the apparent enthusiasm for the "Rock Star" parody, calling the news stories here "kind of" funny....well, I won't lie, it just hurts. I pour my blood, sweat, and tears into every news story I post here, and to have it described with such a throw away and impersonal label as "kind of" funny makes me feel as if my news stories aren't quite up to par with those that you consider just plain "funny", and as such I have let down myself, and my guild. With the weight of this crushing despair on my shoulders, I have found myself reluctant to log in to the game recently, unable to show my face to my fellow guildies who quite frankly, expected more of me than just "kind of" funny news items. In some of my free time, I began to wonder if I had somehow personally offended the "Guildwatch" writers in some way, and if so, please except my humblest apologies.

While struggling to come to grips with my mediocrity, I did decide to go back and search through the long and illustrious history of "Guildwatch", scouring the archives for some examples of news items deemed worthy of your praise. I was startled to find that "kind of" is a phrase used often in your columns, and in my mind may be sort of an understatement in some cases as well, take the following historical "Guildwatch" blurbs for example.


200 BC - Congratulations to the members of guild <China>! It seems they were the first on their server to discover the engineering plans for [Schematic: Great Wall]. Though we at Guildwatch haven't seen it, we do think the wall may be kind of long, good going guys!


1900 - We have received word that the guild <Einstein>, with the raid leader Albert, have posted the first batch of boss killing starts for the new expansion. Albert, also the guild alchemist, is reported to have made numerous server first potion and flask discoveries, that guy must be kind of smart!


1912 - Sometimes when things are slow in game, people come up with weird, wacky ideas. Such is the case in guild <Titanic>. Tonight they plan to try and zerg down a new boss, Ahune the Frost Lord. Just a feeling, but I think they may be kind of doomed. Good luck anyway, guys!


1969 - The new Achievement system really has people excited, take for instance one player, Armstrong, of the guild <NASA>. Not just content with getting the first achievements of exploring Eastern Kingdoms and Kalimdor, this paladin bubbled himself up and got the "Lunar Surface" exploration achievement! We at Guildwatch have never been there, but it must be kind of far away! Grats! Armstrong would also like us to mention his buddy, Aldrin, who got disconnected on the journey and settled for a server "second".


1986 - As we all know, despite the best efforts and intentions, sometimes guilds are forced to deal with some sort of needless drama. Such seems to be the case with the guild <Chernobyl>. Details are sketchy, but it seems even a powerhouse guild like this isn't immune from adversity, as rumors persist of a big blow up in guild chat, followed by a meltdown by some guild officers. Is this the end of the guild? We don't know, but it sounds kind of bad. We'll monitor the situation and keep you informed of any fallout from this event.

Hmmm.

It seems that "Guildwatch" has a long and storied history of playing it safe when it comes to labeling the achievements of others. Why? Are you so scared of having some readers disagree with your honest opinions that you have to placate them with some sort of meaningless, middle of the road type comments such as "kind of" about anything you review? Is THIS what passes for guild journalism these days?!

I used to lie awake at night, dreaming of possibly getting my name and my news stories into the "Guildwatch" column. Allowing myself the faint glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, you would find my stories "especially entertaining", or dare I say it, "downright hilarious". Now I know that those were just foolish, childish dreams. That no matter what I write, no matter how many creative juices I spill, I will never, ever be more than just "kind of" funny to you. Seeing your unimpressive history of journalistic cowardice, I no longer expect anything else from you. When the time ever comes where you can grow some balls and just flat out take a stand and say more than just "kind of", you let me know.

I'll be waiting.

Rhett
Runetotem

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Lady Vashj down...finally
10/21/2008 09:58 by Grimtaash.

Can you find what's wrong with this picture? We're alive and she's dead. Go go easy mode raiding. Grats BOYD!

Picture edited for size.

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Rhett Reveals Raider Recruiting Rock n' Roll Rally!
10/14/2008 12:11 by Rhett.

October 14, 2008 - Orgimmar - We here at BOYD News have just received a press release announcing that one of BOYD's founding officers, Rhett, will be headlining a special rock and roll concert event later this month. Event organizer, John C. Mobcamper, took some time to give us a few more details about the event. Apparently this concert is being held in an effort to raise server wide awareness of the current state of Horde side raiding. "We as a server can no longer just pretend that there aren't other guilds out there that need our help," Mobcamper said. "We need people to know that we have guilds willing to still raid, if only they had the people to do so. Getting this word out is why I organized this RAID AID event. It's my hope that we can get a great turnout for this event this coming Saturday night, 10 pm at Blackrock Stadium. We'll have lots of great entertainment for you, such as gnome punting contests and dwarf tossing. Plenty of food and drink and of course, to top it off the debut concert by Rhett & The Global Cooldowns! Hope to see all of you there!" Mobcamper then excused himself as he had to hurry away to order yet another name change.
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Rhett & The Global Cooldowns rehearsing a new song.
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BOYD news did manage to catch up to Rhett as he and his back up band had just finished up a rehearsal session. He explained to us why he felt it necessary to take part in the RAID AID event. "We at BOYD have tried the usual means of recruiting such as using the forums, advertising in trade chat, etc. While it's worked to a degree, we're looking to really strike a chord with people out there, through music." As intrepid reporters we did feel the need to point out that while his intentions may be noble, Rhett has no musical talent whatsoever. In an effort to win us over and encourage people to attend the concert event, he agreed to share with us the new song that his band had been working on to debut at RAID AID. "I know there was recently a fairly popular song out there by some band called Copperback, or something, called "Rockstar". People seemed to like it, but we don't want to be rock stars, we want to be raiders, so we had to do a little rewrite. We'll debut it on Saturday, but you can catch a sneak peek at the lyrics." [Editor's Note: A video of this song can be found at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0o4W_VyJljs]
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I'm through with waiting online for raids that never begin
It's like quarter after 10 with one healer logged in
This night hasn't turned out quite the way I want it to be

(Tell me watchya want)

I want ten more badges for my epic ring
I want raid members who want to do anything
or a Kara group big enough for nine plus me

(Tell me watchya need)

I'll need a DKP system that's got no limit
A group with a boomkin and shadow priest in it
Need an optimal mix of casters and of melee

(Been there, done that)

I want a raid group full of guild regulars
who want to do more than kill Prince Melchazaar
Someone between Vashj and Illidan is fine for me
(So how you gonna do it)

Don't want to sell this toon for cash on Ebay
Don't want to switch servers or change my name

'Cause we all just wanna be BOYD Raiders
And clear T6 raids with just a few repairs
The kills come easy and the loot comes cheap
We'll all gear up so we can be elite
And we'll hang out in the Scryer Bank
With the best healers and the toughest tanks
Every bad ret pally's gonna apply here
Every washed up hunter with their PvP gear,
Hey hey be a BOYD raider
Hey hey be a BOYD raider

I want a guild that raids without all the hassles
With thirty other people who don't play like ****oles
Grab some stacks of herbs so I can get my flasks for free

(I'll have the flask of Pure Death, haha)

I'm gonna upgrade my gear with the best enchantments
Going to put epic gems into all my sockets
Don't have much gold so it's more daily quests for me

(So how you gonna do it)

I'm gonna trade these blues for shards and gold
I'd even sell my herbs and sell my ore

'Cause we all just wanna be BOYD Raiders
And clear T6 raids with just a few repairs
The kills come easy and the loot comes cheap
We'll all gear up so we can be elite
And we'll hang out in the Scryer Bank
With the best healers and the toughest tanks
Every bad ret pally's gonna apply here
Every washed up hunter with their PvP gear,
And we'll reject apps in private chat
because their raid times suck or their gear is crap
You'll get crafting mats from the BOYD Bank
Just show up enough to keep your rank
Hey hey be a BOYD raider

I'm gonna sing this song to recruit some members
Gonna hope we can raid by mid December
Might need a PuG or two on a weekend night
Just pray they don't suck and make us wipe

'Cause we all just wanna be BOYD Raiders
And clear T6 raids with just a few repairs
The kills come easy and the loot comes cheap
We'll all gear up so we can be elite
And we'll hang out in the Scryer Bank
With the best healers and the toughest tanks
Every bad ret pally's gonna apply here
Every washed up hunter with their PvP gear,
And we'll reject apps in private chat
because their raid times suck or their gear is crap
You'll get crafting mats from the BOYD Bank
Just show up enough to keep your rank
Hey hey be a BOYD raider
Hey hey be a BOYD raider

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Rhett & The Global Cooldowns Unveil New Pyrotechnics
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Rhett was called away to rehearsal again, which in my opinion they most desperately need. Before leaving though, he did express his most sincere hopes in seeing all of our readers there on Saturday. He also paid 50 gold to run an ad here, encouraging all of you to rush out to a <General Goods> dealer near you and pick up the new double CD set by Rhett & The Global Cooldowns, their first major release entitled "Molten to the Core*", including the following new studio tracks.
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1. Sweet Home Undercity
2. Papa Was a Rollin' Healthstone
3. Pugthumping
4. Knockin' On Kara's Door
5. BOYD Raider
6. Born to Run (Away)
7. Midnight Tram to Stormwind
8. Don't Fear The Respec
9. R.O.C.K. in the O.R.G.
10. Smells Like Divine Spirit
11. Little Red Healthpot
12. I Fought The Lag & The Lag Won
13. You've Lost That Lootin' Feeling
14. When a Man Summons a Woman
15. Raidin' in the Free World
16. I Want a New PuG
17. Should I Play or Should I Log?
18. Nothing Compares to UR DPS LOL L2P
19. I Love Loot n' Gold

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* This item available for purchase for 19 gold 99 silver.

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Teron Gorefiend down!
09/30/2008 00:20 by Grimtaash.

Great job all. BOYD 4/9 BT!

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Shade of Akama down!!!
09/27/2008 00:24 by Grimtaash.

Grats BOYD!

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